What's Disturbing About Halloween...

I had thought about what I wanted Joshua to be for his first Halloween long before I realized it was not the most appropriate choice for my big giant boy. My favorite Winnie the Pooh character had always been Piglet. Except Joshua was more of a Hoglet. Jill's mom made the costume and it's still my all time Joshua-costume-favorite.

We are currently in our third straight year of Star Wars. And there are already plans for a 4th consecutive selection.

Halloween in suburban Detroit meant a few different things growing up. First off, the morning of Halloween my parents would sit there chattering over the newspaper to see what was burned up in Detroit. This caused me to believe that every major city was plagued with the hazing of Devil's Night leading up to Halloween. It turns out this is inaccurate. In fact, it may even be fairly limited to Detroit because I haven't heard it any where else.

But after that part, there was getting to wear your costume to school and we'd parade around for parents to wave at you and then go back inside and cram ourselves with candy before going home to get hollered at for snitching out of the candy bowl meant for trick or treaters.

And of course the Trick or Treating. My dad usually was the one taking us out. One of the benefits of WWII era homes is that just a driveway separates houses for blocks and blocks and blocks. This provided the opportunity for MASSIVE amounts of candy.

Which I would hoard afterwards and sell to my brothers months and months down the road. I forgot about that until just now as I was typing it.

I got to be something different every year but it was pretty much limited to what could be dug out from the junk around our house or whatever I could con my dad in to making. One year I was a present box. Another a cheerleader. A doctor. Little bo peep. Jill was a Carebear for about 17 years of our childhood when she wasn't a witch for the other 17 years. Man if I had a picture of that Carebear gettup I'd get a t-shirt made just to have people ask me WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT! It was well crafted- don't misunderstand- Jill's mom could sew like a Disney costume maker.

But with all the other creepy things to look at running past you on Halloween, a giant blue Carebear head attached to my friend's body was very disturbing.

Happy Halloween!

-Sheryl

Soccer Stars

Joshua has turned in to this boy that actually shoves his arm out to keep kids off him in soccer. Previously he hung out down field, waited for the ball to break free, ran with it until the rest of the pack caught up and then he pulled off the ball and went back to the other end of the field to repeat his process. It has been fun to watch him grow up so much lately. Not so happy about the inch and a half since the end of August that we just scratched above his last growth marker.

Noah goes to soccer. And after great demonstrations as a strong, 32lbs scrapper who will bust through anything, he has taken to standing in the middle of the field and holding his coach's hand. He's trying again at today's game to return to his former scared-of-nothing self. Because if he does play then he gets to go pick out his Yoda Halloween costume at Target. I'm never above bribing a 4-year-old.

What You Learn at the Bus Stop

Up until about 10:30am this morning I hadn't made a clear cut plan for getting Joshua picked up from a half day of school (Awesome. Barely 3 weeks in to school and we already hit a half day). But I finally had to just bail out of work and be there for the bus drop off.

I got to the bus stop early but was soon flocked by the usual group of neighborhood mamas. I don't know any of them well at all, but I'm working on that. As we were chatting, a man with some visible mental issues came walking by and was just staring at us. One of the mom's smiled and waved and asked him how he was doing. He stopped for a minute and then kept walking. That particular mom adopted two boys- one with special needs- as a single parent.

We all went back to chatting when I realized a mom on the other side of me was standing there starting to cry. Of all the mom's she's one of the one's I know the most but understand the least about.

This particular mama has two beautiful sons that Joshua met in the park by our house one day. Actually he met them multiple days before I finally managed to head outside at the same time they were there with their mama. As she saw me walking that day she hugged me while speaking in half English and half something that was almost Spanish but wasn't- turned out it was Portugese. She was from Brazil.

Anybody that knows me is aware that me and physical contact don't get along so I was already in a "WHAT THE HELL DO I DO" state as she started speaking. Finally though I realized she was telling me her sons don't speak, that they are autistic and that they are never able to play with other children but that they have been playing with Joshua at the park nearly every day for several weeks. She was teary eyed and gushing how happy it was making her to watch her sons play with others. I... I didn't know what to even say. I was very proud of my boy who never, ever sees anything wrong with other human beings.

But back to the bus stop. So my neighbor friend begins to cry at the sight of this man who was passing by us because she fears it's may be the lonely fate for her sons if she can't help them. She wants to go back to Brazil to be with her family but can't because there are no programs that even compare to what she is able to get here in the U.S.. But she is unhappy and homesick and sad.

I sometimes wallow in a tiny bit of loneliness as a single mom. The other day I was standing on a stool in the middle of the kitchen table still in my most decent work clothes trying to change a light bulb I couldn't reach but the boys were doing a project and it would be great to have light (they are so demanding...!). I was hating to be me at that minute. The next time I have one of those pangs of rapid fire self doubt, I hope I remember the bus stop.

-Sheryl

Days to Remember

Everytime holidays intended to memorialize something roll around, I tend to feel a bit disconnected because I wasn't there. I wasn't at Pearl Harbor. I'm not a Veteran.

I wasn't in New York on 9/11. But I had been in Seattle. I saw the second plane hit the World Trade Center live on the news because I was sitting there on my Pacific coast time waiting for my jeans to dry in the dryer. That was my worry for the morning- having clean jeans for work.

Katie Couric inaccurately reported on the morning of September 11th that an Airbus 767 had just crashed into the second tower of the World Trade Center. I thought "What a dumb bunny. It's either a Boeing 767 or an Airbus plane." I imagine I felt all official because I could tell airplane models apart now that I was at Boeing, much the way I barely had known a Toyota from a Chevrolet before working at General Motors and could now tell the make and model of a car from its headlights in many cases.

I definitely know I had zero comprehension of the impact as I was waiting for the clothes dryer to shut off. I got to work, and at the time, it was the Boeing Everett wide-body airplane factory. The one that makes the Boeing 767's. The path I would take to my desk literally required passing beneath an airplane wing which made me flinch that morning.

By the time I got up the elevator people were chattering about it and talking about crazy stuff like there were a bunch of other planes involved and that the White House had been a target. It was sounding like a bunch of overblown chatter.

But I got to my desk and could barely access the internet. Somebody said it was because it was jammed with activity. I still was a little perplexed. I called Alan. And as my resident current and historical events walking encyclopedia, he spouted off words I had never heard like Osama Bin Laden and 'terrorist cells'.

I hung up. My manager came by shortly after and asked our group to stay in the area and be prepared in the event of an evacuation (the building occupies 30,000 employees.... we cause our own traffic jams at shift change on a normal day when people aren't hurrying anywhere except out of the parking lot to go home).

The insanity that hit the East coast that morning never met the West thankfully. I walked back under that airplane wing to leave on my way home that evening and realized I was now connected to a day that nobody understood. As I've tried to explain the event to my sons I can sense the same disconnect that I know I showed with Pearl Harbor Day or Veteran's Day or Memorial Day. I hope they grow up to be respectful of what has happened and what has been done to prevent any other such event, but mostly, I hope they never, ever are connected to their own day of memorium. I hope my sons live a life where they honor what has happened before their time to give them a life free of terror, disaster and needless loss.

-Sheryl

Are you sitting down.....I'm finally posting something!!!

It's been awhile. I had every intention to post....lots of times. I would want to type something, but nothing would come out of my fingertips. It was weird. It wasn't for a lack of things to write about. As summers go, this one has been filled up. I guess my brain just got lost in the sea of pre-teen hormones, bagels-way too many bagels and mild bout of depression that swirled through my house. But the good news is that now I have lots of things to post about!

First things first, Sheryl's birthday post had me rolling on the floor laughing! I don't know how she remembers some of this stuff. But, turning 26 for the 8th time has kinda shot my brain to hell.

1)Watermelon Hubba-Bubba-my teeth hurt at the thought of that stuff. I don't even let my kids chew it very often because I can actually hear their teeth rotting away.

5)nasty words-I have no idea what she's talking about. I never said things like piss-worms or penis breath. never ever ever. And I didn't laugh hysterically instead of punish when Sheryl came to visit a three year old Alex and he called her a penis. That wasn't me.

7)dogs named Muffy-I loved that dang dog. Of all the dogs I've had she was my fave. Pudge was a close second, until he recently decided that every surface in our house needs to smell like his urine. Typical man.

8)curled pig-tails-I spent half of my childhood in curlers. It wasn't even normal.

9)worms-She's right, I'm denying.

11)playing monster- OMG I had totally forgotten about this game. Funnest ever! I tried to get my kids to play it with me, but they looked at me like I was nuts.

14)fake care bears- Playing with them wasn't so bad, but how about having to dress as a life sized one. Not great. I think we spent two Halloweens like that. ick.

18)leaving Girl Scout camp- I was barfing red Kool-Aid everywhere!!!! It wasn't my fault! Every fun childhood activity resulted in me barfing. It was weird.

20)band camp-This one time, at band camp........

21)Mr. Kantz's 3rd grade-That was the first year Sheryl and I got to be in the same class. And the first time I ever had to stay after school. I finally stood up for myself and pushed that little turd Kevin Laux after being picked on by him for years. Problem was, Mr. Kantz didn't see what happened to cause me to push him, and I got in trouble. I cried the whole way home, fearing what my mother was going to do to me. Thankfully, she also thought Kevin was a turd and applauded me.

23)picker bushes-I hate picker bushes a.k.a. rose bushes. They were all over my yard and one day my dad was holding my hands and twirling me around....and twirled me right into the bushes. It's too terrible to remember.

26)kleenex-I did use more kleenex than the average person, but then I met Matt. Nothing compares to him. The human foghorn. We buy kleenex by the case from Costco now.

28)flip flops-Ahhhhh....my beloved footwear of choice. These are not from my childhood because my mother despised them. But I have made up for not having them until adulthood. I'm currently on my 7th pair of the season.

31)endless giggle-That just happened this morning. For no reason I just started laughing until I had tears streaming down my face. Emily thought I was crying. Sometimes, I'm the weirdest person I know.

32)Best-Friends-Pretty soon she's coming to Michigan and I get to see her. The first time in two years. Way to long.

~Jill

Summer Time in 1980 Something

Joshua asked me the other day what I did during the summer when I was little. Mostly he was complaining about the lack of things to do for a 7-year-old boy with three rooms in his house dedicated to toys, plus an entire garage bay of more toys plus a park next door, literacy skills of a 5th grader that he could apply to a library of books and not to mention a stack of video games if all other forms of creativity fail.

But I get it. It's August and this summer thing is winding down. On occasion it can be hard to even remember it's summer because... just as Jill curses the steaming heat that seems to be plaguing everywhere but the tippy top of the Pacific northwest, I'm cursing the fact that I need a fleece coat in August. It MIGHT get out of the 60's today. Seriously.

Joshua's plight for summer fun is nothing new but it made me think- what did I do all summer long? I didn't have a nanny, baby-sitter or anything but helpful neighbors to yell at us to get out of the middle of the street. My dad was at work and my mom worked nights so she was sleeping most of the day. We did have some rules- no playing in the 10 inch deep kiddie pool while my mother was sleeping. That was a major violation. Don't hit each other. I admit non-compliance.

Joshua wasn't wanting to hear what I couldn't do so I dug deep into my head to try to recall what you did in the 1980's for fun when summer got boring:

• Go on vacation with some other kid's family (did this with Jill's family MULTIPLE times. Jill being an only child was pure genius in my friend selection process).


• Play in the back yard sand box that is really a large square of cinderblocks outlining dirt with sand on top of it until you dig all the way to the tree roots of the big fat oak tree. (Joshua seemed puzzled... didn't sandboxes only come in the shape of a green plastic turtle with 2 inches of sand?)


• See what you could freeze in the freezer and make a popsicle out of. Dish soap doesn't freeze well in case anyone was wondering.


• Ride your bike where you aren't suppose to so that you can see where the end of your street is (another confusing topic for a little boy living in a closed end cul de sac).


• Dig for change in every nook and cranny so that you can feign going on a bike ride but you really high tail it to the Dairy Queen and kindly ask for one small, Lemon Lime, Mister Misty float. It helps to not spill any green sludge on your shirt if you are trying to be covert about your mission.

Joshua wasn't impressed as I couldn't come up with a thing that he found any more fun to do than staring at the wall. I also talked at length about laying in the sunshine with your best friend, sunblock free and getting deep summery tans while talking about dirty words (didn't say that part but I remembered it), playing around in giant boxes thanks to whomever purchased an appliance recently, walking around in homemade matching sleeveless shirts and shorts pretending you are sisters with your best pal... these were all true activities when there was no cable being piped in every socket of a house or cell phones to send secret messages or SPF97000 strength sunblock.

After our chat, Joshua went outside with his light sabre and Jedi hood and spent a few hours conquering the cul de sac.

-Sheryl

Happy Birthday

August 2nd is Jill's birthday. She is sometimes squeamish about what birthday she is actually having but the catch to it is that it's an awesome, incredible signature on our friendship. With all the things that happen in life and all the people you meet along the way, I don't know how the universe works to give me my best friend when I was just two-years-old and to allow us to still be connected as much as we are after all this time.

Despite being in Target twice this weekend I failed to even grab Jill a card. If we'd grown up to live next door with pools in our back yards like we'd planned I would probably still not have a card ready to go. Hate that about me. But working on it.

I have always been a pretty good failure at the card thing. Not just for Jill... it's universal. But it didn't mean I wasn't thinking of her knowing the 2nd was rolling up soon. Jill has been too busy with children and bagel store grand openings and (Blazing Bagels in Waterford, MI!), summer and electronics problems to hardly even chat with me let alone, email, facebook or blog post or remember it's her birthday... but I remember... LOTS.

Thirty-three word and phrase associations with Jill:
1. Watermelon Hubba Bubba Gum
2. The book How to Eat Fried Worms (I read it in the back of her parents car on a road trip)
3. My Child Dolls
4. Catherine. Jill named every doll some variation of Catherine for a good long while.
5. Nasty Words. Jill was the kid that told me most of the dirty words I ever learned. That's right. The only child kid taught the middle child between two brother's all the dirty words she ever learned.
6. Driveway rollerskating
7. Dogs named Muffy
8. Curled pigtails
9. Worms- she had a worm obsession. She'll deny it. But it's true.
10. Lasagna- Jill's mom has the best. And the first I ever ate.
11. Playing monster. Don't ask.
12. Pretty in Pink Barbie
13. Twirly Curl's Barbie
14. Fake Care Bears
15. Fake Cabbage Patch Barbie
16. Trying to see our first movie... going in too early... realizing it's a rated R movie that we just sat ourselves in... and bolting from the theatre back into Oakland mall because we didn't know what else to do.
17. Bunkbeds at Girl Scout camp
18. Leaving me at Girl Scout camp
19. Bunkbeds at band camp
20. Band camp
21. Mr. Kantz's Third Grade Class
22. Picker bushes
23. Blue shag carpet
24. Hershey candy products
25. A white skirt with magent polka dots that she wore in 7th grade
26. Kleenex. I've never seen another human require so much Kleenex.
27. Snoopy Band-aids
28. Flip flops- namely the glitter encrusted ones that Noah slept with for weeks.
29. The pink, blue and yellow plaid blankey with the satin edging
30. Fisher Price toy sinks (I loved that thing!)
31. An endless giggle that has been the same forever
32. Anklet socks with white lace ruffles
33. Best friend- in every sense.

For the 31st time in our lives, Happy Birthday Jill.

With much love,
Sheryl