Up until about 10:30am this morning I hadn't made a clear cut plan for getting Joshua picked up from a half day of school (Awesome. Barely 3 weeks in to school and we already hit a half day). But I finally had to just bail out of work and be there for the bus drop off.
I got to the bus stop early but was soon flocked by the usual group of neighborhood mamas. I don't know any of them well at all, but I'm working on that. As we were chatting, a man with some visible mental issues came walking by and was just staring at us. One of the mom's smiled and waved and asked him how he was doing. He stopped for a minute and then kept walking. That particular mom adopted two boys- one with special needs- as a single parent.
We all went back to chatting when I realized a mom on the other side of me was standing there starting to cry. Of all the mom's she's one of the one's I know the most but understand the least about.
This particular mama has two beautiful sons that Joshua met in the park by our house one day. Actually he met them multiple days before I finally managed to head outside at the same time they were there with their mama. As she saw me walking that day she hugged me while speaking in half English and half something that was almost Spanish but wasn't- turned out it was Portugese. She was from Brazil.
Anybody that knows me is aware that me and physical contact don't get along so I was already in a "WHAT THE HELL DO I DO" state as she started speaking. Finally though I realized she was telling me her sons don't speak, that they are autistic and that they are never able to play with other children but that they have been playing with Joshua at the park nearly every day for several weeks. She was teary eyed and gushing how happy it was making her to watch her sons play with others. I... I didn't know what to even say. I was very proud of my boy who never, ever sees anything wrong with other human beings.
But back to the bus stop. So my neighbor friend begins to cry at the sight of this man who was passing by us because she fears it's may be the lonely fate for her sons if she can't help them. She wants to go back to Brazil to be with her family but can't because there are no programs that even compare to what she is able to get here in the U.S.. But she is unhappy and homesick and sad.
I sometimes wallow in a tiny bit of loneliness as a single mom. The other day I was standing on a stool in the middle of the kitchen table still in my most decent work clothes trying to change a light bulb I couldn't reach but the boys were doing a project and it would be great to have light (they are so demanding...!). I was hating to be me at that minute. The next time I have one of those pangs of rapid fire self doubt, I hope I remember the bus stop.
-Sheryl
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