I was at the doctor for an annual check-up and because I am quite positive that I'm dying. Every other minute of the day. I've become quite the hypocondriact. Every ache is a cancer cluster, every headache and aneurysm. It's really very annoying. And I'm pretty sure the doctor thought I was nuts. But she declared me well....pending the results from the speculum violation I received. So barbaric. Clearly a man invented that atrocity.
I love my doctor so much. It's possible that I'm a teensy bit IN love with her. I was telling a friend last night about how I had to wait for over an hour to see her yesterday, all while chasing a manic baby all over the place. She suggested I find a new doctor. But that will not be happening. I would walk over hot coals to see my doctor. I have to drive by her office every time I take one of the kids to the pediatrician and I actually feel this weird vibey pull towards her building. It sounds crazy, I know. But if you met this woman and she delivered your babies you would understand. When I was in labor with Grace I didn't want anyone but her. Not even Matt. Nothing was OK until she arrived at the hospital. She is like some kind of calming angel. She helped bring my three most important people into the world and nothing will ever be the same when she finally retires.
The same cannot be said for the some of the nurses at our local hospital. My sweet baby nugget got quite a bad chest cold last week and I had to take her there twice. Once by myself at 5am because Matt was already at work and I knew it wasn't a matter of life or death, so I didn't even bother calling him. The second time we went together in the evening. She was raspy, wheezy and kept choking on gunk coming up. The 5am visit went well and I had Alex along to help me. The nurses doted on Gracie and the doctor was super dreamy. The evening visit did not go as well. We were there forever, Gracie was having meltdowns left and right and the nurses seemed annoyed by this. We were clearly interrupting their hen fest. And the tech that took x-rays of her chest was equally as cranky. "Gosh she's really a stubborn one isn't she?" Um, hello bitch.....she's a baby that doesn't feel good and the bar you are making her lean against is banging her in the head. Not a fan of her!
Everything is back to normal now, thank goodness. Gracie is all better and I am not dying. Yet.
~Jill
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Phenomenal Timing
I called Jill and got no answer this morning. I was having a big what the HECK moment because Joshua decided he doesn't want to go back to his private school in the fall he wants to go to public school. It was 7 in the morning so my midwest eastern standard time zone friends are priceless during these 'moments'.
Except no answer from Jill.
Until 8:54. I had a meeting at 9 but I was sure I could spew out the whole thing and get her opinion in 6 minutes.
I thought she was calling me back. But she wasn't. She didn't even know I'd call because she had been at the doctor all morning.
I LOVE these moments of kindred insanity where things happen and bring us together.
I was 8 minutes late for my meeting because now I needed to know why Jill was at the doctor all morning.
-Sheryl
Except no answer from Jill.
Until 8:54. I had a meeting at 9 but I was sure I could spew out the whole thing and get her opinion in 6 minutes.
I thought she was calling me back. But she wasn't. She didn't even know I'd call because she had been at the doctor all morning.
I LOVE these moments of kindred insanity where things happen and bring us together.
I was 8 minutes late for my meeting because now I needed to know why Jill was at the doctor all morning.
-Sheryl
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Random Thoughts
Instead of winning the lotto, which has been a wish/goal/dream lately, I would rather have a 4th baby and bigger house. Given the fact that I would need to win the lotto to afford these things, I predict that neither of these things are in my near future. I should start wishing smaller.
I am starting to realize how not fun raising a teenager is going to be. I've only just begun and I'm ready to bail. Any takers for a 12 year old boy with a smart mouth and the ability to make you look like an idiotic moron in front of your friends and family?? No? I didn't think so. I see lots vodka and chocolate in my future.
It's a tiny bit pathetic that my dogs have been groomed three times in the past 6 months and I have been to the salon zero times in that same amount of months. Equally as pathetic is how many times they have been to the vet, especially More Annoying Dog, for various ailments, and I have been to the doctor zero times for my ailments. Which I'm pretty sure I may be dying from.
Probably I would loose more weight if I stopped eating ice cream. But I just love it's creamy, cool deliciousness.
Husbands that compliment your hair and actually mean it are lovely. Wives that crinkle their noses when given complements from their husbands because they don't accept compliments well are not lovely. Also lovely is when a husband gets the coffee maker ready for the next morning every single night, even though he doesn't drink the coffee. Wives should probably start saying thank you for these things and stop being so bitchy about pissy, unimportant things. I may or may not be this wife.
When you live in a shoebox with four other humans, the house is almost always messy.
Pedicures are amazing. And so are babies and bigger houses.
~Jill
I am starting to realize how not fun raising a teenager is going to be. I've only just begun and I'm ready to bail. Any takers for a 12 year old boy with a smart mouth and the ability to make you look like an idiotic moron in front of your friends and family?? No? I didn't think so. I see lots vodka and chocolate in my future.
It's a tiny bit pathetic that my dogs have been groomed three times in the past 6 months and I have been to the salon zero times in that same amount of months. Equally as pathetic is how many times they have been to the vet, especially More Annoying Dog, for various ailments, and I have been to the doctor zero times for my ailments. Which I'm pretty sure I may be dying from.
Probably I would loose more weight if I stopped eating ice cream. But I just love it's creamy, cool deliciousness.
Husbands that compliment your hair and actually mean it are lovely. Wives that crinkle their noses when given complements from their husbands because they don't accept compliments well are not lovely. Also lovely is when a husband gets the coffee maker ready for the next morning every single night, even though he doesn't drink the coffee. Wives should probably start saying thank you for these things and stop being so bitchy about pissy, unimportant things. I may or may not be this wife.
When you live in a shoebox with four other humans, the house is almost always messy.
Pedicures are amazing. And so are babies and bigger houses.
~Jill
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
I'm in a crap mood today. So many things have made this mood possible. Too many to list, really. I'm just tired of being the smoother over and the eggshell walker. I'm over going to school stuff alone(rephrase;alone with a baby spaz) because bagels rule the world and don't allow for days off or even a few hours off.
I am desperately trying to ward of an adult-like temper tantrum. I can feel it rising to the surface. I'm eating ice cream, normally an evening treat for me, in the middle of the day to make myself feel better. I think all I am accomplishing is making myself feel fatter. Fantastic.
If Matt comes home and asks if I'm on my period and that's why I'm crabby, I will seriously loose it. Completely.
~Jill
I am desperately trying to ward of an adult-like temper tantrum. I can feel it rising to the surface. I'm eating ice cream, normally an evening treat for me, in the middle of the day to make myself feel better. I think all I am accomplishing is making myself feel fatter. Fantastic.
If Matt comes home and asks if I'm on my period and that's why I'm crabby, I will seriously loose it. Completely.
~Jill
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
6:15a.m.
My phone rang at 6:15 a.m. this morning. You know how you sometimes have the pit of your stomach just swirl around when the phone rings at an off time because it MUST be something bad?
Not me.
Because I knew it was Jill. She called mat 4:45 on my birthday.
Jill was half calling to check on me and half calling to relay how entirely idiotic her day was going and it wasn't even completely daylight in all time zones of the continental U.S. .
She made me late getting out the door but it was totally worth it!
But her day taught me:
1. All grown women over the age of 15 should know how to pump gas without the dude calling to you over the loud speaker.
2. When pregnant women whack into your mom van with their own vehicles, forgive them quickly.
3. Keep money in your car for when it starts beeping relentlessly because you are running it out of fuel.
4. Be aware of the lockdown policies at your child's middle school to ensure you know the proper procedures for when you stroll in to pick your kid up and there are armed official looking people surrounding the place.
5. Call your best pal at any time of day. That's what they are there for.
Missing ya Jill.
-Sheryl
Not me.
Because I knew it was Jill. She called mat 4:45 on my birthday.
Jill was half calling to check on me and half calling to relay how entirely idiotic her day was going and it wasn't even completely daylight in all time zones of the continental U.S. .
She made me late getting out the door but it was totally worth it!
But her day taught me:
1. All grown women over the age of 15 should know how to pump gas without the dude calling to you over the loud speaker.
2. When pregnant women whack into your mom van with their own vehicles, forgive them quickly.
3. Keep money in your car for when it starts beeping relentlessly because you are running it out of fuel.
4. Be aware of the lockdown policies at your child's middle school to ensure you know the proper procedures for when you stroll in to pick your kid up and there are armed official looking people surrounding the place.
5. Call your best pal at any time of day. That's what they are there for.
Missing ya Jill.
-Sheryl
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Fads are Crap
I heard the line 'fads are crap' several (at least a million) times as I was growing up... because my parents said it 500,000 times and Jill's said it the other half. That's some of the uh... err... benefits of growing up with only a fence line between you. You get to hear everything twice. At least.
But I am actually a tiny bit thankful that practicality and budget and common sense often erroded any efforts I might have wanted to make towards some idiotic silliness of the 80's and early 90's while my parents were still responsible for what I looked and acted like. I wasn't exactly somebody that wanted all the latest and greatest things either- and even to this day- I'm just someone who wants to stay above the wire of wearing anything ridiculous/boring/hideously outdated and below the wire of wearing anything somebody will compliment you on for being bold or creative or whatever adjective they want to apply.
Joshua's trend endeavors have been minimal. From the age of 3 until he entered a private school with a dress code, wore mis-matched socks. I don't mean brown and black either- I mean Christmas with Halloween and blue stripes paired up with a dinosaur dotted sock. At first it was a little cute and then mortifying and then really, really practical.
It got mortifying when I found out that his socks had garnered the attention of his fellow pre-schoolers and now multiple kids were refusing to match their socks. But it was seriously practical to not have to match socks when doing laundry. And losing one of a pair was never a big deal!
The beloved sock collection... that I was permitted to dispose of under the terms of capturing it in a photo Joshua could keep forever...
I realize a 7-year-old is way different than the teenie tweeny set and the worst is likely well on its way to me. Noah already has some diva status- repeatedly changing his clothes in a day and rejecting selections I've brought home and taking 7 hours to find clothes in the morning. In fact, that is my morning discipline plan when he won't get a move on- "If you don't get out of bed and get going mister, I'll PICK YOUR CLOTHES".
I have to say I was a bit annoyed when Joshua asked for some plaid shorts this summer instead of his standard khaki cargos. Noah the diva already had a stack of plaid shorts but coming from Joshua... this was weird. And when I said I would look the next time I was at Target, I got a funny look and a request for Old Navy. I only exhaled hard once and then faked my smile. I wasn't as aggravated with his slight and even minimal and even reasonable demands as I was with the fact he's just getting too old too fast.
-Sheryl
But I am actually a tiny bit thankful that practicality and budget and common sense often erroded any efforts I might have wanted to make towards some idiotic silliness of the 80's and early 90's while my parents were still responsible for what I looked and acted like. I wasn't exactly somebody that wanted all the latest and greatest things either- and even to this day- I'm just someone who wants to stay above the wire of wearing anything ridiculous/boring/hideously outdated and below the wire of wearing anything somebody will compliment you on for being bold or creative or whatever adjective they want to apply.
Joshua's trend endeavors have been minimal. From the age of 3 until he entered a private school with a dress code, wore mis-matched socks. I don't mean brown and black either- I mean Christmas with Halloween and blue stripes paired up with a dinosaur dotted sock. At first it was a little cute and then mortifying and then really, really practical.
It got mortifying when I found out that his socks had garnered the attention of his fellow pre-schoolers and now multiple kids were refusing to match their socks. But it was seriously practical to not have to match socks when doing laundry. And losing one of a pair was never a big deal!
The beloved sock collection... that I was permitted to dispose of under the terms of capturing it in a photo Joshua could keep forever...
I realize a 7-year-old is way different than the teenie tweeny set and the worst is likely well on its way to me. Noah already has some diva status- repeatedly changing his clothes in a day and rejecting selections I've brought home and taking 7 hours to find clothes in the morning. In fact, that is my morning discipline plan when he won't get a move on- "If you don't get out of bed and get going mister, I'll PICK YOUR CLOTHES".
I have to say I was a bit annoyed when Joshua asked for some plaid shorts this summer instead of his standard khaki cargos. Noah the diva already had a stack of plaid shorts but coming from Joshua... this was weird. And when I said I would look the next time I was at Target, I got a funny look and a request for Old Navy. I only exhaled hard once and then faked my smile. I wasn't as aggravated with his slight and even minimal and even reasonable demands as I was with the fact he's just getting too old too fast.
-Sheryl
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Silly Fads
The new trend around town is something called Silly Bands. I had not a single clue what they were until last week. I case you don't know, they are thin, rubber bracelets that look like shapes of things. You wear them and when you take them off them snap back to their original shape (like a monkey, hammer, fish, that sort of thing).
Well, apparently my children were going to die horrifically bloody, painful deaths if they didn't have some of these silly things immediately. Of course as with most faddy things there were none to be found. But wait! Daddy swoops in very heroic like a few days later with three bags of the coveted bracelets.
I didn't understand all the excitement. They looked pretty stupid to me. And they were pastel colors. Um, Alex? Are you really gonna take your 12 year old boy self to 6th grade wearing those? I was informed that EVERYONE is wearing them so it didn't matter what color they were. So I guess if boys start wearing pink bras on the outside of their shirts, I can expect him to join in that fad as well.
I can't remember many fads from my youth. The only thing that come to mind is Girbaud jeans, especially overalls worn with one side undone. So fashionable! We also used to peg roll our jeans, which didn't cost anything, they just looked incredibly stupid.
But back to the bracelets. They happened to be knockoffs which is why they looked so stupid. I have to say, they pale in comparison to the real thing. But lucky us, we found the real version at a nearby Hallmark store. Yay! I guess. Yay as if I really love spending my hard earned money on silly bracelets. But spend it I did.
I took Emily and her friend there tonight. I'm not going to tell you how much I spent because you will think I'm insane. But my kids are happy, I'm a sucker and Miss Emily will be doing chores around here for a few days.
~Jill
Well, apparently my children were going to die horrifically bloody, painful deaths if they didn't have some of these silly things immediately. Of course as with most faddy things there were none to be found. But wait! Daddy swoops in very heroic like a few days later with three bags of the coveted bracelets.
I didn't understand all the excitement. They looked pretty stupid to me. And they were pastel colors. Um, Alex? Are you really gonna take your 12 year old boy self to 6th grade wearing those? I was informed that EVERYONE is wearing them so it didn't matter what color they were. So I guess if boys start wearing pink bras on the outside of their shirts, I can expect him to join in that fad as well.
I can't remember many fads from my youth. The only thing that come to mind is Girbaud jeans, especially overalls worn with one side undone. So fashionable! We also used to peg roll our jeans, which didn't cost anything, they just looked incredibly stupid.
But back to the bracelets. They happened to be knockoffs which is why they looked so stupid. I have to say, they pale in comparison to the real thing. But lucky us, we found the real version at a nearby Hallmark store. Yay! I guess. Yay as if I really love spending my hard earned money on silly bracelets. But spend it I did.
I took Emily and her friend there tonight. I'm not going to tell you how much I spent because you will think I'm insane. But my kids are happy, I'm a sucker and Miss Emily will be doing chores around here for a few days.
~Jill
Monday, June 7, 2010
You All Should Consider Yourself Lucky
Jill's rants are a minimum compared to the string of profanity she disposed of in my email box when blogspot wasn't being cooperative while she was stewing with all this aggravation noted below.
Beware when she is on the war path. Really.
-Sheryl
Beware when she is on the war path. Really.
-Sheryl
Letter to my Frenemy and my Enemy
Dear Royal Oak,
I am angry with you. You are disappointing me at every turn lately. We go way back and I really don't understand why you are doing this to me. I don't think we can be BFF's anymore.
I am no longer smitten with your many formerly lovely parks. They are muddied, gratified and overgrown. I don't like taking my children there anymore. Why aren't you taking care of them? A little mulch, mow, and paint are all they need.
Your homes are still overpriced, even in this down economy. Royal Oak, don't you know that people just can't afford that right now? You are being a tad greedy in my opinion.
Do you really think young families will want to move here and send their children to your schools with all of your stupid budget cuts? NO! Stop it already! You are to big of a city not to have busses. I am tired of seeing the pickiting teachers every morning. Just give them what they want! They deserve it! If you cut sports, we are through forever!
You want to get rid of more policemen and firemen. Insane, I say! Don't you remember when I called the police a few years ago because there was a crippled opossum hissing at my children in our yard? And do you remember what they told me? "I'm sorry but your call does not take precedence and we are very "busy" right now",said the policeman. "You should take a big shovel and bash it on the head", he says. Really? Is that what you are going to tell me when I call and say a big intruder is forcing his way into my house, because now you have even less of a police force? This is not smart, Royal Oak.
Your downtown is still kitchy, cute and inviting. But you want to start charging me for parking on Sundays now too? I don't really like that idea. I will not visit your downtown on a Sunday if you decide to do this.
The last straw came this morning when I was taking Emily to school. Royal Oak, you have made it impossible to get my children to their schools. Practically every street that leads to the elementary is closed down with all the ridiculous construction and the busiest intersection near the middle school is constructing as well. Why must you do this all at the same time? Couldn't you have waited until school was over for the summer? I am not amused at all. I stick my tongue out at you daily.
Royal Oak, if you don't get your act together, I am filing for divorce from you.
Sincerely,
A Disgruntled Resident
Dear Rude Playground mom,
Thank you so much for being a jerk face while I was at the park with my baby today. She really wanted to go on the baby swings, as you could plainly see with her reaching, crying and kicking as we stood by you ,patiently waiting. Waiting for you to finish pushing your gigantic, post-toddler sized children that could have gone on the big kid swings. But you just continued to push your huge kids while my baby cried. Your smiles and waving did not make her feel better. Swinging would have made her feel better.
Listen, I don't have a problem taking turns and all that. But did you really have to leave them in there for the whole half hour we were visiting the park? Not nice. I am not a fan of you. You are probably the type of person that stands in front of the monkey exhibit at the zoo forever and doesn't let the little kids see in. Boo on you.
Here's a tip, lady. If your kids are to big for diapers, they are to big for baby swings. Find a book on playground etiquette and read it!!!
Insincerely,
Nice Playground Mom
~Jill
I am angry with you. You are disappointing me at every turn lately. We go way back and I really don't understand why you are doing this to me. I don't think we can be BFF's anymore.
I am no longer smitten with your many formerly lovely parks. They are muddied, gratified and overgrown. I don't like taking my children there anymore. Why aren't you taking care of them? A little mulch, mow, and paint are all they need.
Your homes are still overpriced, even in this down economy. Royal Oak, don't you know that people just can't afford that right now? You are being a tad greedy in my opinion.
Do you really think young families will want to move here and send their children to your schools with all of your stupid budget cuts? NO! Stop it already! You are to big of a city not to have busses. I am tired of seeing the pickiting teachers every morning. Just give them what they want! They deserve it! If you cut sports, we are through forever!
You want to get rid of more policemen and firemen. Insane, I say! Don't you remember when I called the police a few years ago because there was a crippled opossum hissing at my children in our yard? And do you remember what they told me? "I'm sorry but your call does not take precedence and we are very "busy" right now",said the policeman. "You should take a big shovel and bash it on the head", he says. Really? Is that what you are going to tell me when I call and say a big intruder is forcing his way into my house, because now you have even less of a police force? This is not smart, Royal Oak.
Your downtown is still kitchy, cute and inviting. But you want to start charging me for parking on Sundays now too? I don't really like that idea. I will not visit your downtown on a Sunday if you decide to do this.
The last straw came this morning when I was taking Emily to school. Royal Oak, you have made it impossible to get my children to their schools. Practically every street that leads to the elementary is closed down with all the ridiculous construction and the busiest intersection near the middle school is constructing as well. Why must you do this all at the same time? Couldn't you have waited until school was over for the summer? I am not amused at all. I stick my tongue out at you daily.
Royal Oak, if you don't get your act together, I am filing for divorce from you.
Sincerely,
A Disgruntled Resident
Dear Rude Playground mom,
Thank you so much for being a jerk face while I was at the park with my baby today. She really wanted to go on the baby swings, as you could plainly see with her reaching, crying and kicking as we stood by you ,patiently waiting. Waiting for you to finish pushing your gigantic, post-toddler sized children that could have gone on the big kid swings. But you just continued to push your huge kids while my baby cried. Your smiles and waving did not make her feel better. Swinging would have made her feel better.
Listen, I don't have a problem taking turns and all that. But did you really have to leave them in there for the whole half hour we were visiting the park? Not nice. I am not a fan of you. You are probably the type of person that stands in front of the monkey exhibit at the zoo forever and doesn't let the little kids see in. Boo on you.
Here's a tip, lady. If your kids are to big for diapers, they are to big for baby swings. Find a book on playground etiquette and read it!!!
Insincerely,
Nice Playground Mom
~Jill
Sunday, June 6, 2010
2 weekends
Last weekend was amazing. It was Memorial Day weekend, so I had an extra day off. But what was even better was getting to dog sit. Actually, Alex was supposed to be the dog sitter(it's his bff Max's dog), but I pretty much hogged it. I don't really think he cared. He just took his money and ran. Fine with me because look at that cutie mug. That's Bruce. Who wouldn't want to dog sit him? It was supposed to be the type of deal where we just went over several times and let him out but I just couldn't leave him there alone. Since my crazy dogs were at grandma's house, I dog napped him. I'm pretty sure he had the best weekend ever. He got to go on a long walk,thanks to Joanna, which was more like a Bruce Parade because half the neighborhood joined in. I fed him lots of Snausages and gave him lots of love. Gracie liked him too, as you can see. Not much surprise there since she is a dog harasser. I think she used to be a cat in another life. (ironic right?) Bruce is everything I thought a dog could be and more. He doesn't bark. He doesn't scratch at the walls when he wants water. He is mellow and quiet and handsome. I'm going through Brucie withdrawal. I should have made a copy of their key so I could plan a permanent dog napping.My parents took all three kids to my aunt and uncles on Sunday. I had a slight heart attack at this because Gracie has never been away from me for this long. I think it hurt me more than it hurt her. Matt and I lounged around, had brunch at a disgusting restaurant where I will never go again(but at least there were no kids) and shopped around for stuff for the garden. It was lovely.
On Monday Matt took the kids out for five hours. FIVE HOURS. That's like a week in mom alone time. I got to watch TV without someone swiping the remote and changing the station to some inane show like Suite Life of Zac and Cody or Sportscenter. I ate ice cream and didn't have to share. And I also cleaned the house, which goes amazingly fast when three kids aren't underfoot. It was the best five hours I've had in recent history.
I wish this weekend was last weekend. So far, it pretty much blows. It's one of those weekends where every single second is booked up, and there is no time to do the things I love. Like laying on my couch doing nothing. It started with schlepping the kids by myself (so Matt could have a break because that's the knid of awesome wife I am) to Alex's baseball game Friday night at 8:15pm, which frankly is much to late for a game to start. After sitting there for an hour the game cancelled due to lightning and the down pour started on our way to the car. We all got soaked, including Gracie who did not appreciate the cover I put over her stroller to keep her dry and practically strangled herself trying to hang her head out of the stroller so she could see what was going on. Since the game was called we all went over to my friend Amy's where I did not get to visit with my friends. Why you ask? Well sillies, because approximately a year ago I gave birth to an insane, crazed baby and I spent all my time chasing her around Amy's house. At least Alex and Emily got to play with their friends.
Saturday began bright and early with an extra dance practice for Emily, baseball pictures for Alex and errands for me. Really errands for Emily and all the extra crap she needed for her dress rehearsal that evening. All of this would have gone a bit smoother if I hadn't gone to the wrong field for the pictures, which resulted in a zippy trip back across town to the correct location and a big fat headache for me.
Saturday night ended with the dress rehearsal, and while I did get to go out to dinner with the dance moms, again I had Gracie the spaz with me, so I was still in mom mode. She was very good at dinner and they all kept saying so, but I really wanted to throw back a cocktail, which probably would have been inappropriate. They were amazed at her eating skills. We used to call her the blueberry killer because she would down those suckers til her poop turned blue. Now we call her the food killer because she eats everything in sight. Last night was no exception. She consumed mashed cauliflower, cold peas from the salad bar (which tasted like grass), avocado, fruit and other assorted items from peoples plates, of which she was just helping herself to. And no, she isn't fat even after eating like a pig. Why? Because after dinner we went to pick up the girls and had to wait forever and Gracie probably logged a mile of walking/running all over the place with me chasing her. The question is, why am I still fat?
Today is house cleaning and the big recital. Emily is nervous and excited. She's been busting out her dance moves all over the place for weeks (sometimes I wonder if she has a mild form of tourettes). She will be amazing as always. And I am looking forward to next weekend.
~Jill
Saturday, June 5, 2010
I Don't Believe I Did That...
Joshua asked me recently to show him how to cook. I have been cooking before I could even reach the top of the stove- my parents would let me pull a chair up to reach it (growing up in the 80's had it's perks!).
And I can cook. I really can. I'm not one of those who sulks and says they can't cook. I'm also not one to have my hand waving wildly in the air to cook the main course of anything unless I have to.
Because I can ruin a meal like nobody's business. And I'm not talking about a degree too cold or a touch overdone... I mean DECIMATING food. I am the worst with anything that comes out of a bag, can or box because that means there are instructions I am suppose to follow and that just doesn't work with my kitchen skills.
But Joshua asked me to show him how to cook. And I want to show him.
And did I ever show him what I could do last night. It was going to be green beans, scalloped potatoes and kielbasa/polish sausage/whatever you want to call it. I have made it 37,000 times. I have left the milk out of the potatoes before but that's probably the worst thing. You can't screw this stuff up- right? RIGHT?
You can if you detect that the kielbasa is getting over done and you pour water directly from the tap into the Pyrex GLASS pan. Because then it will EXPLODE dumping shars of glass into the scalloped potatoes and across the entire confines of a 450 degree oven.
-Sheryl
And I can cook. I really can. I'm not one of those who sulks and says they can't cook. I'm also not one to have my hand waving wildly in the air to cook the main course of anything unless I have to.
Because I can ruin a meal like nobody's business. And I'm not talking about a degree too cold or a touch overdone... I mean DECIMATING food. I am the worst with anything that comes out of a bag, can or box because that means there are instructions I am suppose to follow and that just doesn't work with my kitchen skills.
But Joshua asked me to show him how to cook. And I want to show him.
And did I ever show him what I could do last night. It was going to be green beans, scalloped potatoes and kielbasa/polish sausage/whatever you want to call it. I have made it 37,000 times. I have left the milk out of the potatoes before but that's probably the worst thing. You can't screw this stuff up- right? RIGHT?
You can if you detect that the kielbasa is getting over done and you pour water directly from the tap into the Pyrex GLASS pan. Because then it will EXPLODE dumping shars of glass into the scalloped potatoes and across the entire confines of a 450 degree oven.
-Sheryl
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